school

If there's one thing that's stressing me out right now, it's definitely school. If any of you recall last semester I sort of threw in the towel with applying to Eastern's nursing program because I was falling below the competitive line and with how hard I worked there was no way I was going to apply to be told, "well you're a fucking loser, pedal your shit elsewhere."

So I had researched other programs like a crazy person a found the best alternative; the best alternative still required that I take yet another class. I was waitlisted for the computer course I needed for what I thought was a December application deadline to start Winter 2017. Well, firstly I missed the email that said, "yo, it's your turn to get off the waitlist" and I had to waitlist AGAIN and I did not get a second chance. Secondly, I must have looked at the dates wrong or they changed them but the deadline now is in January for Fall 2017. Fuuuuuuuuu. I am catching zero breaks. Thirdly, after starting my new job I'm not even sure I want or can be a nurse. Some of this stuff I see is horrid and stomach wrenching. And the key word here is SEE. I feel woozy just looking at some of these people let alone having the compassion to care for them!

Then it was time to scramble. Do I go for nursing and switch if I can't handle? Do I switch back for an easy Bachelor's? What about my pell grants and maxxed out loans? Slkfoieawjfoajbsdoviajseofinbaoisdrfjaosjf. I decided that I would enroll in classes to fulfill my Psychology/Health Administration degree. I still owed a bit of a balance to Eastern and before I could register I needed to pay it off. My dad and stepmom helped me with that and I was able to register. Once everything was all squared away I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Throwing away that year of hard work and classes that would literally be for nothing weighed VERY heavy on me. So.. I withdrew from them and got on track to apply for Nursing again. Well, then I felt the horrible debate again. And, I am going for straight Health Administration now. Ultimately I don't believe I am cut out for Nursing, nor am I passionate enough.

TRUEMU.

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