being a mother: a list

This is a list of many things that define what being a mother is (for me):

• Being woken up in the night to ask if you can come lay in bed with them.
• Simultaneously stressing out about a fever but not wanting to be "one of those parents" that call the pediatrician over a scraped knee.
• Wanting to snuggle them tight while they have said fever but also really wanting to keep your distance because if you fall victim to illness what the hell happens then?
• Creating grandparents.
• Getting upset when they don't comprehend that you have important things to do and all they want to do is play.
• Wanting to slip away for an hour of complete silence.
• Missing the kids while you are gone for this said hour of silence.
• Feeling like a million dollars when they light up after you laugh at their silly jokes.
• Feeling like a million dollars when they light up simply after seeing your face for the first time that day.
• Cracking up when your four year old says things like, "how many times are you going to ask me?" when you should be marching them into time out.
• Hoping you didn't mention the neighborhood friend's name while you were complaining about them; but then again kids never repeat anything they hear right? *side eye*
• Never sleeping.
• When you do sleep you wake up from phantom crying.
• Tiger stripes? No, sorry, I don't buy in. While I don't feel self conscious about my stretch marks I would gladly give them back.
• Laughing at the stretch mark removal products there are and how many people feed into the notion that they will work.
• Having a heart that is filled to bursting with love.
• Being followed around by gremlins who incessantly ask for candy, chocolate, snacks.. basically anything that is sugar laden and undoubtedly bad for them.
• Finally just giving them Oreos so they will stfu.
• Staring into blank space every now and again wondering how your own mother ever did it and why didn't she warn you?
• Freaking out that you're making the right decisions for your kids.
• Feeling like a bad person because you couldn't imagine letting an infant drink from your boob (but I'm not a mother dog, this is a human! Not a puppy!).
• Lying to them when you "suddenly misplaced" the candy you were going to save for them.
• Giving up on the planned out cute outfits and shoes.
• Being overcome with joy/amazement when your kids do things that mirror you and your spouse.
• Thinking more than once each day, "Wow, I made that."

Happy Mother's Day!

Leia