uganda be kidding me + american babe

In the midst of all my Christmas preparations I tried starting my twenty-third book of 2016. I am happy to say that after I got caught up on things, I was able to zip through Uganda Be Kidding Me in just a few days. Oh, it felt good to be on a roll like that!

My fav quote from the book: I stared at the smaller children with deadness behind my eyes, looked at Shoshanna, and declared, "I just don't get the upside of having kids." She regaled me with her perspective: "Chelsea, sometimes I wake up and Russell [three years old] touches my face and says, 'Mommy, you're beautiful.' I stared at her waiting for her to finish. Then I told her, "That's not enough." and went inside for more hummus.

Ugh, girl, I get you. I feel this way even after having some gremlins of my own! They demand all of your attention, all of the time. It's exhausting. Not one for the wary or for the 'on the fencers'.

My least favorite quote from the book: I looked around for somewhere to sit but there wasn't a chair in sight, so i just fell over on my side in the middle of the road and lay there like a melting snowman. I tried to think of a worse experience I had had in life, and all I could come up with was a James Franco art exhibit.

BACK OFF, BISH. I'll be damned if I didn't put the book down right then and there. Lucky enough though I was actually really enjoying her tales. But, don't get me wrong. The statement has gone unforgiven. Ain't nobody puts my baby in the corner! James, if you're reading this I didn't finish the book, I was just trying to appease Chelsea in case she's reading. *I know, right?*

Next up, for my final book of the year is American Babe; the third in the Babe trilogy.

I'm halfway through already so I'm somewhat on track to finish by midnight on New Year's Eve.

Love you, hate you, mean it.
Leia

the fat jew IRL

About two weeks ago The Fat Jew started advertising for parties to commemorate the launch of his new book and it was sponsored by Four Loco (still cracking up about this). One of my best friends Caytee pitched the idea of taking a group trip to the closest one to us. Columbus, OH.  Though neither of us are huge drinkers we are huge fans of Josh Ostrovsky, so I RSVP'd. It ended up just being the two of us and it didn't go as planned but we still had a blast.

Wahoo, road trip! 3 hours and 20 odd minutes ended up taking us almost 4 hours and 30 odd minutes; this meant we had less time to get ready for the show.

Less time to get ready meant we left our hotel via Uber at 8:10p instead of 7:45p which meant we didn't get to the venue until 8:20p.. 20 minutes after the line 'officially' started. Hundreds upon hundreds of people! We guessed maybe we were 1200th in line for this thing. The line began at the doors of the venue and wrapped around the block, placing us at BOOM.

It was cold and we were freezing. We were trying to remain positive but when 10pm rolled around it seemed less likely that we were going to make the cut. Once we crossed the actual threshold onto the property security started coming outside periodically to give updates.

Update 1: everyone behind this mark (which was behind us) can plan on leaving now, you're not getting in.
Update 2 (5 minutes later): we are letting people in for 5 more minutes.
Update 3 (30 seconds later): 20 more people and that's it; everyone surges forward and I fear I might be trampled.
Update 4 (maybe 5 minutes after): venue is full, don't bitch and moan because we'll call the cops. Just leave now.

We were so close, but still so far.

Understandably, I knew the odds of people leaving early after getting in was slim to none, but I thought it was ridiculous that we weren't allowed to keep a line even if we were being courteous.

So, now what to do? We were frozen to the bone and we were starving, so let's order another Uber because it's quick and convenient and get some grub! We ended up in the downtown portion of campus called 'Short North'. The first place we stopped had just closed the kitchen, the next place we stopped closed in 30 minutes. Finally, we found Bakersfield. TACOS. TEQUILA. WHISKEY. What could go wrong with this choice?

The food.. SO GOOD.

And then after filling out tummies it was back to the hotel where we snapped some dramatic selfie's with my selfie stick that I refused to be rendered useless.

Was the goal of putting these 'on the line' to garner attention from The Fat Jew and get some sort of recognition for traveling and subsequently freezing half way to death to not gain entrance to the party? Maybe. Did I get a like from him and Babe Walker? YES. Recognition enough? For the fan girl in me, yes.

Is White Girl Rose unpleasant to drink? Yes. It could be because I don't really like wine to begin with, but hey. Celebrity. Novelty. These are things I love. No shame.



#whitegirlfrozen
Leia