In light of Mother's Day I thought I would delve into the world of mom shaming. It's something that happens a lot whether online or in real life. Whether you're sharing a story or seeking advice, someone out there "does it better than you" or "how could you do that". The gall! That woman is giving her baby a bottle instead of her boob!
It's absolutely obvious why mom shaming happens. Whether we like to admit it or not, and whether we playfully brush off compliments, "Oh you, stop it! I do what I can!" deep down we all know we are the best mom on the planet (aside from our own mothers of course) and so obviously the way we are raising our kids, the way we chose to deliver our infants, or the holiday traditions we continue or begin is the only way it can be done.
It's not going to stop. Yeah, it's annoying when you get sucked into questioning whether what you're doing is right or wrong or even wanting to tell someone they should maybe try something a different way. Likely if you are doing something one way, it's because YOU think it's WRONG to do it another way and likely since someone else is doing it in said way YOU are BETTER and your child is going to have a life that is exponentially greater because of this decision.
Do I feed my kids a vegan-gluten-sugar free diet? Hahahahahahaha, good one! While I agree the cause behind veganism is a great one, realistically it's never going to happen for me and my fam. Do I feed my kids absolute garbage? Yeah, on some days it happens. This entire organic movement really gets me fired up at times. You know what else is organic? Dog shit and cow manure and I don't want that anywhere near my food. If the goal is to be better off as human beings at least lower the prices to put the other guys out of business and join forces.
Do I think women should give birth (or at home) without any meds? HELL NO. We are not pilgrims and if birthing pain is the worst pain any human being can feel I hope that when you need a root canal you are going to opt to do it awake and free of any medication as well. If those meds are not good for baby during birth, they likely are not good for you at any other time as well. And all I'll say is eating your placenta has shown no scientific benefits, so that's on you if you want to ingest a used up nutrient sack. Eat a scab while you're at it. See! Look how easy it is to begin the shaming.
Do I think that all babies and children should be vaccinated? YES. Well, if your kid is vaccinated and my kid who has not been goes to school with them they won't get sick because they are treated against measles, right? *snark, snark, snark* Well, sure in theory. But since these vaccines are formulated against the 'ancient' viruses they cannot fight the mutated super strength measles that have survived this far.
Why is the debate over formula vs breast milk so prevalent still? You wanna shame people that give their baby formula from a can? Surely there are some added benefits to babies that are breast fed but on the same hand babies that only ever have formula are not any worse off. And sure at the end of the day that's what pilgrim boobs were made to do but it's also why babies live today if their mothers are unable to produce breast milk.
If we have differences on any of these subjects am I going to judge you? Yeah, who am I to play it off like I'm this perfect accepting human being?! But am I going to get up in your face and tell you to do otherwise? No. You do you, homie. So that leads me to my next point.
To combat the mom shaming just live your truth. Unless you're a crackhead then please give your baby to a responsible adult and seek help! We should definitely care about others, but we should definitely care a little less about what they think of us. We're all trying to do our best. Some days we feel down in the dumps and guilty about how we acted or treated our kids that day. The last thing we need is be bombarded by someone else (likely someone who hasn't even birthed a baby at this point). So really, ya just gotta block em out; take some advice from DJ Khaled. DON'T BE BOTHERED BY THEY.
Just because my Instagram feed shows a life well lived in and not the white clean linen of the rest of the blogging community neither one is any better than the other. Sometimes it's easy to forget that. So again, don't go around acting like you are superior in motherhood and don't pay attention when people try to get you down or make you seem like less.
Preachers gonna preach.
Leia
It's absolutely obvious why mom shaming happens. Whether we like to admit it or not, and whether we playfully brush off compliments, "Oh you, stop it! I do what I can!" deep down we all know we are the best mom on the planet (aside from our own mothers of course) and so obviously the way we are raising our kids, the way we chose to deliver our infants, or the holiday traditions we continue or begin is the only way it can be done.
It's not going to stop. Yeah, it's annoying when you get sucked into questioning whether what you're doing is right or wrong or even wanting to tell someone they should maybe try something a different way. Likely if you are doing something one way, it's because YOU think it's WRONG to do it another way and likely since someone else is doing it in said way YOU are BETTER and your child is going to have a life that is exponentially greater because of this decision.
Do I feed my kids a vegan-gluten-sugar free diet? Hahahahahahaha, good one! While I agree the cause behind veganism is a great one, realistically it's never going to happen for me and my fam. Do I feed my kids absolute garbage? Yeah, on some days it happens. This entire organic movement really gets me fired up at times. You know what else is organic? Dog shit and cow manure and I don't want that anywhere near my food. If the goal is to be better off as human beings at least lower the prices to put the other guys out of business and join forces.
Do I think women should give birth (or at home) without any meds? HELL NO. We are not pilgrims and if birthing pain is the worst pain any human being can feel I hope that when you need a root canal you are going to opt to do it awake and free of any medication as well. If those meds are not good for baby during birth, they likely are not good for you at any other time as well. And all I'll say is eating your placenta has shown no scientific benefits, so that's on you if you want to ingest a used up nutrient sack. Eat a scab while you're at it. See! Look how easy it is to begin the shaming.
Do I think that all babies and children should be vaccinated? YES. Well, if your kid is vaccinated and my kid who has not been goes to school with them they won't get sick because they are treated against measles, right? *snark, snark, snark* Well, sure in theory. But since these vaccines are formulated against the 'ancient' viruses they cannot fight the mutated super strength measles that have survived this far.
Why is the debate over formula vs breast milk so prevalent still? You wanna shame people that give their baby formula from a can? Surely there are some added benefits to babies that are breast fed but on the same hand babies that only ever have formula are not any worse off. And sure at the end of the day that's what pilgrim boobs were made to do but it's also why babies live today if their mothers are unable to produce breast milk.
If we have differences on any of these subjects am I going to judge you? Yeah, who am I to play it off like I'm this perfect accepting human being?! But am I going to get up in your face and tell you to do otherwise? No. You do you, homie. So that leads me to my next point.
To combat the mom shaming just live your truth. Unless you're a crackhead then please give your baby to a responsible adult and seek help! We should definitely care about others, but we should definitely care a little less about what they think of us. We're all trying to do our best. Some days we feel down in the dumps and guilty about how we acted or treated our kids that day. The last thing we need is be bombarded by someone else (likely someone who hasn't even birthed a baby at this point). So really, ya just gotta block em out; take some advice from DJ Khaled. DON'T BE BOTHERED BY THEY.
Just because my Instagram feed shows a life well lived in and not the white clean linen of the rest of the blogging community neither one is any better than the other. Sometimes it's easy to forget that. So again, don't go around acting like you are superior in motherhood and don't pay attention when people try to get you down or make you seem like less.
Preachers gonna preach.
Leia
No comments:
Post a Comment